How to Voice Act and Not Sound Painfully Awkward - A Beginner's Guide.

Firstly, a disclaimer:

Well, I'm no Mel Blanc, but I like to think I've got a pretty diverse range and a basic understanding of voice acting. What I have here is not the final word, nor is it the teachings of a born-before sensei or whatever. They're just my own personal observations and a few 'tips 'n' tricks' with regards to voice acting. I am writing this guide in the hope that I can make people realise how much fun it is to voice act for animations, and to show how much easier it is than you probably think.

Side note:

This guide is a sister piece to Doyvid's "Sound Recording for Idiots". I strongly recommend you read that guide before attempting to wow me with your incredible vocal talents, because the best performances can potentially be ruined by shitty equipment.

1. Confidence!

This may sound retarded, but seriously, hear me out.
I have heard various optimistic voice actors (even a Jim Henson puppeteer!) proclaim that anyone can voice act. I RESPECTFULLY DISAGREE.
Most people can, but there are some people who are just no-hopers. How can you tell them apart? They're the people who lack confidence.
You have all met one. You've probably met a few, people who perilously avoid eye contact and are so cripplingly shy that they don't actually talk, they just stare at their shoes and mumble shit. Just try to have a conversation with one, assuming you can talk to these people without raging and punching them in the face. They can't voice act, but just about anyone else can.

I'd like to emphasise the fact that I have heard the most unexpected people give some really good performances. The reason why is because they feel confident and really put themselves into a take. If you're concerned about how geeky your voice is, or how retarded you'll sound if you try to do an Italian accent, Hellen Keller be able to hear it for crying out loud.
The simplest solution is to not worry about what people will think of you; forget about anyone who may be watching or listening to you. Just think about the performance. That's what confidence is all about, really - not feeling so paranoid about what others think of you. Chances are, you have a few really good voices in you, so let's work on pulling them out.

2. Practicing

Okay, this is a tough one. Voice acting is like anything, if you want to get good at it, you're going to have to practice.
Here's my suggestion: walking around and practicing your wicked voice acting skills and talking to yourself in the shower will probably raise questions and embarrass the crap out of you, and I won't torture you by saying you have to do it as well. I can get away with it because I have no shame, but if you have a problem with your family or housemates fearing for your sanity, then just do takes. Find a script to a show you like, or better yet write your own, and do takes where you do all a character's lines, trying different techniques with the voice and intonation to get the sound and personality you want. That way if anyone asks, you can legitimately say "I'm voice acting", and as an added bonus you'll be able to listen to your performance carefully and pick out what you're doing wrong.

Never be afraid to experiment with this kind of thing. Just remember if you're easily embarrassed to protect the folder like your freakiest porn collection. I even have takes of me singing (trust me, you don't want to hear them), but always hold on to them. It's fun to look back at them later and go, 'whoah I've come a LONG way!'

Side note:

If you think YOU'RE embarrassed at having to make silly voices with your parents around, keep in mind some of the voice work I've done in my previous animations. Kaiser Fate leaps around and beats mofos down, and Hatticus Doomsbury screams like a freak when it shoots its laserbeam. I did these takes at Doyvid's house. I did some similarly weird takes at Owenza's house, and in both cases it must have sounded like I was taking it up the butt from outside the recording room. I always got the weirdest looks after screaming.
Seriously, if I can handle that, I'm sure you can survive putting down a few goofy lines when your parents are floating around.

3. The Subtle Art Of Diplomacy

Short one here. This one was probably covered in Doyvid's guide but I just want to reinforce that no one wants to work with takes from voice actors that have background noise. This is common sense, people. Wherever you happen to live, it doesn't take much to dart around the house and gently ask people to use inside voices and not crank that shit up to 11 while you throw down a few takes. If your dad is watching the superbowl, wait until it's over or politely him to turn it down during the ad break while you quickly record some lines. Don't record during a thunderstorm, airshow or gay pride parade. If you have a cat, put it outside, for the love of god. Same goes for parrots, sharks, clydesdales or anything else that's escaped from the local zoo.

Right, then! So let's get into the nitty gritty!

4. Vocal Elasticity

This is where the fun begins. Hopefully this will make sense to you, I've been researching this stuff for ages but I've never actually explained it until now, I'll try my best.
Now, then. Let's all say something, shall we? I want you to say "ahhhhh" out loud in your normal speaking voice. Come on, do it.
Okay, now do it again and pay particular attention to where it's coming from inside your voice box. Feel the vibrations inside your throat. This is the 'centre point' of your range (probably closer to the lowest part of your range if you're a girl). I may sound like I can do a whole bunch of different voices, but most of them simply come from shifting this 'centre point' back and forth in the voice box.
Truth be told, I don't know how this will work with women's voice boxes, but I'm sure you will still get some fascinating results when you try. When Grace agreed to do the voice of Sacrament, I asked her to sound like a 'creepy, raspy woman' and she ended up pulling The Graveller of her own volition.
This is really something you're just going to have to experiment with before you get it right. But here are some tips.

THE GRAVELLER

If you want to do a grizzy, coarse voice, you are going to have to dig deep and pull your voice right from the bottom of your voice box. It feels like it's coming right from the bottom of your throat, and you can feel your larynx doing funny things and bouncing all over the place. The easiest way to get this sound if you don't know how to do it is to imagine someone from a Coke commercial. They gulp it down, wipe their mouths and go "ahhh" in a raspy voice. If the actor is a pussy, it'll be a soft whispery sound, but if they're man enough to pull it off you'll hear this ultra-satisfied "AaAaAah" gravelly breath of appreciation. Make that sound and shape your voice around it. Depending on where you pull the voice from in your voice box, this can be voiced (the vowels have a certain level of humanity to them), or you can get pure, voiceless rasp that sounds very creepy. British character actors (Noel Fielding, for instance) have made this a stock in trade. When girls do it it sounds quite scary and demonic, and when guys do it it sounds tough and ballsy.

Practical uses for The Graveller: Demons, rapists, zombies, your mother

THE THUG

If you've ever heard Tom Waits, you'll know what to expect from this one. It's very similar to The Graveller, but in the middle of the vocal range instead of the bottom of it. To put it into context, Kaiser Fate is a perfect example of The Thug.
I use this voice a fair bit, because it's very handy and sounds completely badass. Basically, you've got to grab onto that quiet little grizzle in your voice and force it to do some heavy lifting. This is easiest to do if you've mastered the Graveller first.
What really helps this voice along is if you launch it up through your throat with plenty of voice. The principal difference between this voice and The Graveller is that the former has a random, unpredictable feeling of warbling on the bottom-most part of your voice box whilst The Thug has a very moderate and constant "drone" to the voice. You'll know you're doing it right if your voice seems to have a 'saw edge' to it, if that makes sense. Remember that for this voice to work, it doesn't necessarily have to be deep.

Practical uses for The Thug: Thugs (obviously), drill sergeants, pumped bodybuilders, your mother

THE SQUAWK

If you want to do a delicate, girly voice (this is more applicable to male voice actors) or a strange, squawky voice, you're going to have to head in the opposite direction and draw from the very top of your voice box. This is actually quite difficult at first, but once you get the hang of it, it's also very useful. It works great for female / effeminite characters, stereotypical nerds and geeks, and also "familiar" type characters. To give you an idea of the versatility of The Squawk, this is the technique I use for both Hatticus Doomsbury and Igor Koslov.
What this entails, basically, is cutting out the bottom half of your voice box. This is tougher than it sounds and requires a lot of practice. I'd also like to stress that if this hurts your voice box, stop. Take a break and try again later when your throat feels perfectly normal.
Anyway, when males use their whole voice boxes, they use EVERYTHING, even that cumbersome adam's apple thing down below. What this produces is the rumbling male baritone that women lack. The reason this technique works so well for geeky characters is because we tend to associate them with not being particularly testosterone-voiced, and so whilst not sounding female they don't exactly sound like your typical man's man.

Here's a trick that might help. Make that 'ahhh' sound again and this time bring it up as high as you can. I'm assuming you're a dude. Sounds ugly, huh? That's because you're using your whole voice box, and that gives you the horrible "drag queen" effect. Now hopefully I'm explaining this right, but try to imagine your voice as an object in the middle of your mouth cavity. You need to push that shit right into the back of your throat. It needs to come from your tonsils, you should feel that soft fleshy part of your throat stretch when you do it. Now try that again. Suddenly, you don't sound like Sparkles, but more like a cute little puppet from a kid's show. Work at it. Don't strain yourself, but just keep working on this until you can launch that voice right from your tonsils without it hurting.

Wow, that was a long one. ^^;

Practical uses for The Squawk: Girls, creepy manboys, geeks, you

5. Personality

Personality refers to two things in voice acting, Mood and 'Tude. Well, not really, but it should give you an idea of where this is headed.
Now, there are a few people out there who can make a living out of being themselves, like Vincent Price, John DiMaggio or Alan Rickman, but chances are you're not one of them. (Hi if you are! I loved you in Galaxy Quest!)
What this basically means is that you are going to have to put on a mask when you do your voice acting. Not literally, of course, despite how easy the Power Rangers make it look. I mean you're going to have to get into your character's shoes. That's right, folks - we've dealt with voice, now onto the acting.

I'm no Alan Rickman (in case you haven't realised, I wish I was), so I can't pretend to be the world's greatest actor (which Alan Rickman clearly is). But I can pretend to be a competent voice actor, so hopefully that should be enough to lull you into a false sense of security with my elaborate articulation and dazzling prose.
Basically, acting is emotion. I know you've all heard this old chestnut before (I'm sure the Mighty Boosh fans are all giggling), but just take a second to analyse that statement for a moment. Don't try to act because you'll sound like a bad actor. Emote. There is a difference. A lot of people get into this mindset where they think "right, I'm really going to have to sound like I mean it". Your heart's in the right place, but your voice won't be. If you want your performance to be halfway decent, you're really going to have to become the character. Now for me that's easy, and I honestly do wish I could explain why. I can't, so I'll do the next best thing and tell you how I do it.

Firstly, clear your mind of your surroundings. You're not some eager, aspiring voice actor with a shitty microphone and a bedroom floor a scoutmaster could get lost in, you are THAT CHARACTER. Your name is Barnacle Jones, and you've been mudwrestling the two-headed squid beasts of Octagon 9 your whole life. Papa never loved you and mama was always too busy breastfeeding the dead pidgeon she found in the backyard. Bounty hunting is all you've ever known, and it's the only thing that makes you happy aside from a cold, hard carton of Egg Nog.
Suddenly, you find yourself pulling this crazy performance out of nowhere that doesn't sound like a bad actor reading lines right off a sheet. It sounds like this fucking bizarre character actually exists. It's all about the attitude.

Likewise, if you are reading lines for a scene where your six-hundred-legged steed has been assassinated by a rogue poker chip, you'd better sound like you're upset about it. This is easier than it sounds. A lot of snooty actors will go on at length about how when doing a really emotional theme you should think back to a moment that really made you sad, or really made you happy, or really made you horny or whatever. I RESPECTFULLY DISAGREE. This is a good place to start, but you really want to concentrate on giving your lines, not the vivid memories of your dead puppy getting flushed down the toilet. I find the best way is to just draw on that general emotion. Don't think of a sad event, just BE SAD. Summon up that feeling. BE HAPPY if the situation calls for it. BE HORNY but only within the confines of the recording booth if there are other people around. Summoning up these emotions on their own isn't hard and it allows you to concentrate on your lines.

Side Note:

If you haven't done a voice for a character before, ask for a picture of the character you'll be playing. Unless your animator's a total jackass, they'll gladly hand one over or quickly sketch something down if they haven't drawn them yet. Trust me, it helps to look at the person you're becoming and imagine them speaking while you do your lines.

6. Accents

This feels more like an appendix but I really need to put this in because so many people do it wrong and it makes me want to pull my luscious red hair out.
Doing accents is easy. You just need to listen for the right parts. If you want to do them properly, you cannot be a passive listener when it comes to the way foreigners speak. You have to pay close attention to the inflections, the vowel shapes, the parallels and limitations between their language and your own. All these things are really important if you don't want to sound like a retarded hack, and I'm sorry but you will if you don't take this seriously. Bad accents just don't work, even for comedic effect.
Here's another pro tip: never, EVER draw inspiration from an English speaker or an impersonator. You need to get it from the source or you'll end up with a Chinese Whispers hybrid mutant of an accent. No one gets it completely right (except me), so you should always analyse speech patterns first hand.
If you happen to know a Russian with a bit of an accent, speak to them. Watch your favourite animated movie with the Italian soundtrack and keep your ears open. Better yet, sit down and leaf through the introduction chapter of a Lonely Planet phrasebook of the language you're trying to mimic. Ten minutes of reading will give you a wealth of pro tips about the unique aspects of the language with regards to pronunciation, inflection and emphasis.
Even when you're trying to be funny (god help us) it always sounds better with an authentic accent, and will probably be less offensive to a German audience if your fake German accent doesn't sound like a drunk Arnold Schwarzenegger after a trip to the dentist.

Side note:

If you want to really nail this whole accent business, go here: http://accent.gmu.edu/browse.php
Play all the sound clips to the accent you're trying to master and read along with what they are saying. The best thing about this site is also the worst thing, which is that every bloody sample is the same weird speech about a bag of peas or some shit. This can make it a bit of a grind, but on the upside (and the reason they do it) is so you can directly compare how a Haitian would say this exact word at this part of the sentence compared to how a Finn would say it.

Conclusion

Well, hopefully you were able to read through this thing without dying of boredom, and my greatest hope is that you have come out the other side of it a  better voice actor. All the power to you, my friends, there are always openings for voice actors in my animations so get off your fat ass and buy a decent microphone, ffs.