Aches are the worst, he thought.
Forget your stings and your cuts, it was a strong ache like this that really made you want to kill yourself.
And good God, did his leg ache.
In a haze, Dr. Ken Wilde regained consciousness, and mulling that thought over, felt himself lying on a surprisingly comfortable bed. For a silly moment, he wondered if he were back on Earth, his only care in the world to get back to the work he loved.
Alas, a light came into focus, and he found himself in distinctly less favourable circumstances.
To the left of his bedside sat Miller, who looked to be halfway between his perpetual expression of hopelessness and one of genuine concern. Upon seeing Ken stir, he started, focused and swept his fringe over his bizarrely located bald spot as he did whenever stressed.
The grand haze settled down to a fine blur as Ken realised he wasn't wearing his glasses. The unceremonious cables and wires snaking their way mindlessly across dark stone and rivers of red light confirmed Ken's suspicion that he was, indeed, still aboard Ebon Spire.
He saw Miller look over to someone on the other side of the bed. Rolling over slowly, Dr. Wilde took in a large, hulking shape that had haunted his dreams for quite some time now.
The Visitor.
Domacrodone.
Like a grotesque epiphany, it dawned on him. Lillith had lost the match. Ken Wilde was going to die.
In a panic, he attempted to leap out of bed, and was punished with a searing pain that ran right up his leg. Even with his blurred vision, he could make out that his left leg was embedded in a large splint that looked very much like the Spire itself - a black, pointed cathedral designed to kill anything inside it.
Terror swept over him like a cold mist. There was no way out of this one. How could Lillith's nanotechnology have failed? Domacrodone was not a creature to accept excuses of any kind.
Miller was the first to break the stony silence.
"Doc. You're okay."
Ken did not take his eyes away from Domacrodone. His features were now quite readable upon his hulking frame. A thick, meaty, green hand politely adjusted the wires leading into the metal respirator on his face that had always reminded Ken of a giant walrus moustache.
Finally, he looked down to his leg again. Without his glasses, his eyes, too, were beginning to ache. He felt like he had been wrung through a printing press.
"What happened to me? What's this thing on my leg?"
Miller and Domacrodone flashed an understanding look to one another.
Domacrodone cleared his throat.
"You were hysterical, Dr. Wilde. When Lillith was..." As Domacrodone paused, the awful image returned to Ken. Her arm had flown off like a bottle rocket. Her whole right side, flopping off of her torso, the body collapsing lifelessly... Lillian's body...
"Defeated," said Miller.
"Erm, yes. When she was defeated, you appeared to have lost your mind. You ran past us all in the VIP room, and Miller followed suit. I could not see it very well from where I was standing, but..."
"But you ran to the edge of the wall and jumped in the ring," said Miller.
A sense of vertigo returned, a sickening sensation of falling. It was a very long drop, but the details were lost to Ken.
"I jumped in after you. Obviously I wasn't hurt, but your leg was bent the wrong way. It was disgusting. But you barely even noticed... you just kept running toward Lillith. You were shouting, like... Lillian, Lillian..." Miller's weak impression of the affair did not seem to fully capture the true desperation of the scene.
"You seemed to be speaking to her," said Domacrodone.
"Yeah, weird shit," continued Miller, "like 'everything's gonna be alright, baby'. I didn't know you guys had a thing going, but whatever. All I know is you were pretty pissed when I made that joke."
Ken did not remember speaking to Lillith, only running his hands over her cold, lifeless face. Those eyes stared up through him, as though looking Death straight in the eye. Ken's stomach churned.
The more distinct memory was of looking up at Miller who was holding Lillith's severed arm in his right hand. Her own hand was bobbing around like a puppet. Smiling, he looked down and chimed, 'hey Lil, need a hand?'
The rest was a blur.
"Yes. I remember you attempting to strangle Miller, as though it would do any good. That was when I knew you were in hysterics," said Damacrodone.
"Jesus Christ." That was all Ken could manage.
There was a pregnant pause. He then looked between his bedside companions.
"Where's Lillian?"
"You mean Lillith?" said Miller. "Don't worry, the med droids are working on her. Turns out Fioxazine fucked us."
As displeasing as that mental image was, Ken considered this very carefully. Fioxazine? But he had always seemed so trustworthy. Domacrodone trusted him, as did all the bookies of the House. Parylde seemed to work directly with him.
"Us?"
"Everyone," replied Domacrodone. "He sabotaged Lillith with a very dangerous tool known as a Nanodisruptor - potentially lethal to any nanotechnology-based synthetic. It was a primitive model, apparently aquired from the black market, but it was enough to cause serious damage to Lillith's molecular integration."
"I always told her," said Miller to no one in particular. "I don't trust that guy, he's bad news. Didn't her mother ever tell her not to accept gifts from strangers? I mean, Jesus." He shook his head while staring at his shoes.
"She's going to be okay?" Ken asked.
"Probably. She'll need at least a week's work," said Domacrodone.
Ken's world had just been turned inside out. Lillith had to pull through. She just had to.
"So I guess... I guess Fioxazine's not a member of the house anymore, huh?"
Domacrodone and Miller shared another look, this one much more pained.
"There is barely a house left to speak of, Dr. Wilde. It seems I lost my bet rather prematurely to Parylde."
Ken reeled in disbelief. "What the hell happened?"
"It turns out Fioxazine had been making gigantic bets against the House with just about every other gambling ring on the Spire. What's more, he secretly bet our assets. None of us were pleased when Fractal had taken our planetary winnings away from us, but Fioxazine saw it as reason enough to cut and run. Our once great fortune is now in his oily hands." The venom in those last two words was unmistakable. There was a hatred taking over in Domacrodone's voice. "Everything I had worked so hard to accomplish, ruined. Parylde, so loyal to the house, had the foresight that I lacked... he did not even ask for my money. Now Fioxazine is on the loose, and for honour's sake, we are pooling the last of our funds together for a bounty on that fool's head. The others, I... I suppose I don't blame them, but they left. Azoxi has gone back to his own race, and Na'Thol has reverted to his contacts on the Spire - many people privately owed him money. He still apparently has business here. The rest, we don't know what has happened to them, but they formally resigned."
"Who's left?"
"Only four of us - myself, Parylde, Hyrroll and Hanst."
This left a question burning in Ken's chest that he was afraid to ask - but it tumbled out of its own volition.
"Are you going to kill me?"
"There is no reason to kill you," sighed Domacrodone. "What would we be punishing you for? You were sabotaged by one of our own."
There was an awkward pause. Miller brushed his fringe over his bald patch.
"Miller, my son," whispered Domacrodone. "Could you leave two gentlemen to speak privately for a moment?"
"What? Ahhh, sure." Clearly not sure, he looked to Ken for affirmation, who nodded. Even after Fioxazine's betrayal, he still trusted Domacrodone.
Miller casually pulled himself up from his chair and strolled out.
Ken thought it to himself ironic that he only felt trapped now. What was this chat going to be about? He respected Domacrodone, but he was still slightly afraid of him. With his leg in a splint, and aching as it was, there was clearly no escape. To think he had ignored all those rumours that anyone who entered the Spire never came back again.
"Dr. Wilde, forgive me, but... may I ask you an... untoward question?"
For a terrified moment, Ken wondered if Domacrodone shared certain inclinations with Na'Thol.
"Uhh, what?"
"Do you love Lillith?"
This question was vague enough to keep that thought entertained. How awkward. What was he supposed to say to something like that?
Ken wasn't sure himself.
He cleared his throat and decided to grab the bull by the horns.
"Honesty, Domacrodone... I don't know. I used to. She was once... she was once a beautiful woman. Lillian, her name was. God, I loved her so much. A fiery, passionate woman who knew exactly where she was and where she was going. She was incredible. And beautiful."
Domacrodone nodded. "I do not find humans attractive, but I appreciate that you felt this way about her."
Ken breathed a sigh of relief to that.
"But... it got complicated." Ken's voice was wavering.
"You fought with her?"
"No. She... changed. You know I've been working on these nanotech projects for a while."
Domacrodone nodded and blinked.
"Well... eventually I began working with her on a new project, funded by the military. You know about it. It ended up being... project Lillith."
"The two of you redesigned her?"
"Ugh... no..." Ken grasped his temples. He had never talked about this before with anyone. "I mean... what happened was, we designed the basics first, a new nanotech structure. But before we could find a test subject, she offered to undergo the process herself. I told her not to. God knows, I told her not to so many times, I fucking begged her... but she wanted it. And the thing about Lil was, when she wanted something, she got it. No one would stand in her way, not even me. But I don't think anyone was prepared for how bad the project was going to screw her up."
"It drove her insane?"
"Not quite," said Ken. "It just... changed her. She became more aggressive... and the memory problems, there was so much work left to do. She forgot everything. I don't even know if she remembers her real name."
"You do not love her anymore," said Domacrodone. It came out sounding more like a statement than a question.
Ken did not reply. He didn't know how to.
Domacrodone shifted in his seat, and began to lean over Ken slightly. His bones creaked and a slow grunt could be heard from under the mask. Ken was constantly reminded of how very old some of the bookies were - especially Domacrodone.
"Let me tell you something, Dr. Wilde. I was in love once too."
Ken found this very difficult to imagine, but he humoured Domacrodone with a confused nod.
"Her name was Caliagr. Gorgeous... serene... unnaturally forgiving. I have never lived a completely moral life, Dr. Wilde, and I often felt as though I did not deserve her. I was a demon, and she was an angel, to use Earth vernacular. But her presence... it made me happy. She brought me back down. She helped me to find myself spiritually, morally, emotionally. We underwent an official union - a marriage, I believe you Earthlings call it - that lasted for a substantial period of my life, and I felt as though nothing could ruin it. I felt as though my life of terrible acts could be redeemed if I stayed with her... she made me a good man.
"Then the Spire came. It destroyed my planet and enslaved my people. I saw Caliagr murdered in front of my very eyes and my hatred for this cold prison still burns like a fire, Dr. Wilde. But because I am resourceful, I took advantage of the situation. I discovered the House, joined it, and soon became president. I only relinquished the role when I felt too old to handle the bulk of the administrative work.
"I can barely sleep at night, Dr. Wilde. Because I know that if Caliagr saw I was profiteering on the ship that murdered our world and everything we knew and loved - and her - she would know she had failed to make me a good man. I feel a crippling guilt for this every single day and it tears me apart."
Ken was stunned.
He could never have guessed there was a heart beating under that massive black robe.
After a while, he finally decided on a single question.
"What has this got to do with me?"
"Lillith is not me, Dr. Wilde. She is not beyond saving."
There was a very long pause. It may have only been seconds, but it felt like days.
"In any case, Dr. Wilde, you should get some rest. Should you need anything, do not hesitate to ask. Meek as they are, I find humans very pleasant company."
Ken had never felt so flattered and insulted so equally.
With a reverberating groan, Domacrodone found his feet and slowly shambled out of the room, leaving Ken to his thoughts.
The ache was still there, but Ken didn't even notice it.
He wasn't going to sleep that night.